Who am I?

I live my life according to what I value. I don't apologize for these values, nor will I be convinced to live my life according to someone elses values. I also will tell people what my values are. I will explain to them how I think life should be.

The problem is that I have two kinds of values. Those that I have personally, and those that I think society should be run by. These values will often clash, as they are often based on how a perfect world would be. For example: I don't like smoking, and on a personal level I support the smoking bans. I think they are a good idea generally, and for the most part I completely support them. On the other hand though, I think that there are businesses, such as bars, who should be able to allow their patrons to smoke if they so choose. There are a few other cases like this where my personal views clash with my societal views, but for the most part I try not to apply my values to how the country should be run.

As a result of these contradictions, and the fact that depending on the situation, I may argue either side of an argument, people often have a hard time knowing what I truly believe.

So the point is that noone really knows who I am or what I truly believe. The point is that noone really knows me.

For your average person, this doesn't bother me, and for almost everyone else I am still not too concerned. It is my family and close friends that I care about. These are the people who I should be honest with and be able to trust.

Even among my family there are things not known about me. Whether this be because of my fear of disapproval, my fear of my family being angry , or my fear of being backstabbed if I told someone, I still do have secrets. I feel bad for this, because I should be honest. I just wished I could, without fear of anger, being judged or made fun of.

So what has been brought to light by this post? By my count three things have. The first thing is that my personal beliefs are not necessarily reflected in what I do or say. The second is that I actually support both sides of some opposing issues, and finally, the fact that nobody really knows me completely, and that it is noone's fault but my own.

Don't take this the wrong way though. I am not depressed or overly saddened by these facts... They don't bug me too much. Also don't take this post to mean that I will change my ways, or that if asked about these kinds of things that I would lie. This post is just me recognizing the fact that this is how things are.

Or at least how I see things...

Until next time...