Respect

Now, I am not saying that I should yell at my parents, or that I should be rude to them. Obviously I should be respectful and polite to them. I should respect and be polite to all of my family members. Sadly it does not pan out that way.

I really do try to be respectful, but when you have people screaming at you, shouting at you, being rude to you, it is not easy to keep my cool. All I want, is the same treatment that is expected out of me. I would like for there not to be a double standard when it comes to how we all behave. I do not see that as too much to ask.

I will admit my faults. I am lazy, I procrastinate, I am not motivated, I can be a slob, I can be hyper, have no attention span some days, I don't always keep my cool, I am forgetful sometimes, I can be clumsy, I am not creative... the list goes on and on...

I don't get overly stressed about things that are not in my control... that in my opinion is a strong point for me... It helps me work under pressure, it helps me see arguments rationally as long as they do not get too heated and it helps me to not lose my mind when things go wrong...

I respect that others are stressed though, and I understand, I have to use a number of stress reducing tactics to keep my cool. I read webcomics, I write this blog, I play Puzzle Pirates, I read, I do whatever it takes to stay at a comfortable level of stress.

When I get stressed, I don't think clearly, and I make stupid mistakes, both in arguments, and generally. I say things that only make my situation worse, I fail to stay calm, I yell...

And that is how I fall into vicious cycles of argument. These cycles don't end easily either... It involves an epiphany that never seems to stick, life being tense for a while and me feeling bad about myself...

I just want to not have to stress out over this kind of stuff...

Oh well...

Until next time...