I don't know why I randomly thought of this at twenty to four in the morning, but it just popped into my head.
If I were to die today, my final wishes, which are known, would not be carried out.
This distresses me, it really does, and I do not know what to do about it. There are certain things that I want done after my death, even though I know it will have no bearing on absolutely anything. I know that how my death is handled will impact on those who will deal with it, but at the same time, should my wishes not be respected? I don't know, maybe that is a question best left to the philosophers.
I have been told my funeral will have a priest or reverend. In general, some sort of religious spin. I have been told I am being buried, six feet underground. I have been told that I will not be cremated.
Now, let's sort some things out. I do not want my funeral to have any sort of religious spin on it. I am an atheist. I don't want my death handled any different than how I handled my life. Whoever conducts my eulogy can feel free to be sarcastic about my life. I would want them to try and find happiness after I'm dead. I don't want them looking at all my good points and oversinging my praises, because that just doesn't paint a realistic portrait of me. Something that once I'm dead, will need to be done.
What I really want, is something called a speaking. It's something that comes up in Orson Scott Card's Speaker for the Dead and it's always been something that appealed to me. The aim was not to paint a glowing picture of the deceased, but to rather explain their life, for good and bad, and try to illustrate what their intentions were in life. Their motivations and such.
I would like that.
As to the second and third points, I want to be cremated. The idea of my body being on fire and being turned into ash doesn't bother me. The idea of my body slowly becoming food for the worms is more than just a little bit disturbing.
I want to be cremated, and to have my ashes spread. I have a list of places I'd like them to go, but some are admittedly unrealistic. The point though is, I'd rather sit in an urn or a ziploc bag on someone's mantle or in someone's closet, then to have my remains rot underground.
In any case, I know it wont matter, but in life, the idea that what I want in death wont be carried out; pisses me off more than just a little bit.
Anyways...
Until next time...
