I don't understand people

At a really basic level, I don't understand people. I don't get where they are coming from, I don't see where they are going, and I have no idea what the heck is going through their head, especially when they make some of their more... questionable decisions; my brother in particular.

One major point I have is why people insist on taking serious shots at people for their own twisted entertainment, again my brother in particular. Why is this, because it isn't just him, its like all of society. People mocking you and hurting your feelings just to get a cheap thrill. Its sick.

Gah!

Anyways, on a fundamental level, I don't know what drives people, their decisions, their hopes and dreams. I think it all goes back to my oh so unhappy days in Grade 3. Back in the third grade new things were happening. I had just started at my new school, I was starting to take Ritalin for my ADD, and I wasn't adapting well. As a result, I made the worst move of my life, I withdrew further.

This withdrawl from social life caused me to never really develop all the great social skills that everyone else seemed to. Now don't get me wrong; it isn't like I cant talk to people in casual convesation, its just that I am socially awkward, and it doesn't do well for me. It makes it hard for me to both make new friends, and properly keep up with my older friends. Its just that it is harder for me is all.

The fact that I don't understand people though doesn't shake my faith in society though. I believe that society is capable of so much more if we just put our mind to it. But we don't seem to want to. This is why my faith in society is overshadowed by my cynicism over the fate of humanity. Humanity as a whole is doomed. The individual though has the capacity for such greatness and success, and compassion and caring. Though it is unfortunate that they cannot make enough of a difference to change things for the most part.

Well back to my original point. I dont get people at a basic, fundamental level. I will work on it, but my main plans to become less socially withdrawn have a date to implement them at the beginning of the next school year when I hopefully go to Trent University.

Until next time...