Life in General

I just don't know what I'm doing lately. It seems like I've been going through the motions for some time now, and I simply do not know what to say, or do to change this. I think I've come to the conclusion that while I do need a change in my life, I'm unsure as to what change that may be, or whether I could handle it.

Of course, I say this in the wake of a car accident that has shaken me up, quite honestly, and made me paranoid of other cars on the road. This disruption to my normal routine just has me so frustrated, but still, at the same time, has left me wanting to shake things up a bit more. To make some sort of change while the mood is there.

I don't know, I think that honestly, I've known what I wanted for some time, and despite the suggestions of others, saying it is easy, that I just need to put myself out there. I suck at meeting new people. I have trouble relating to them, and I get the feeling that I come off as looking standoffish. More to the point, as much as I desire to find a relationship that has meaning, like some of my friends have, I lack both the social finesse, and the confidence to seek this out.

I don't know.

In other news, my education mark has come back, and it turns out I got a B-. Not a stellar mark, but nothing to be ashamed of. It wont be long until I manage to get off of probation. Perhaps only until the end of my next semester.

I worry about the future a lot. In the light of day, I often think that things will be fine, but then I'll stay up at night, trying to figure out where I need to go from here. I try to keep up my marks, stay ahead in school, but what's coming worries me. They say it all the time: Que sera... sera. But, que sera?

Until next time...